Monday, July 25, 2011

Taking things in my own hands now

Just wanna blog on here about my feelings. Well, it's about a month's time before I'm officially ORDed. I've gotten a placing in SIM but I have to make a huge payment at a deadline which is really quite impossible knowing that the bank takes very long in their processing of my bank loan.

Returned from Genting, had fun there and learnt much life-skills too. In this world, you run your story. Don't let others write your book. They can be part of your book but they can never be the author. What I've learnt was all about myself. Being considerate to others, putting others before self, sacrificing what was intended for myself just to make things work for everyone on the whole. However, I often ask myself, am I happy doing all these?

No.

Then why am I still doing so? Reason is because I am myself this way. And since I'm like this, why is it that I'm not happy? This is one question which I do not understand...and not know the answer..I even thought of changing to become different but that wouldn't be me.. In this 'ugly' world, filled with so many 'ugly' people, it's getting quite hard to live in. Maybe who ever's reading this feels that this is just one of the many obstacles in life that we have to go through but I just felt that I've been through enough. Don't worry, I'm not going to end my life..Come on..I'm always optimistic..and ending one's life is the most stubborn thing to do.

Ever come across individuals who are very self-centered? Very grumpy? Very competitive? Very sly? Very sneaky? Very inhumane? If you have not, do not be afraid of them cause all you have to do is just watch them like you're in an exhibition. Best of all, visualize them as if they're in their enclosure and you're watching them behind a glass window. And just pity them. They may get all the things that they want but they never knew that they're alone. I used to give 'ugly' people chances which I should have not given because they seriously don't deserve it. It is indeed true that a leopard never ever changes its spots. You wouldn't wanna get bitten again.

Now that I know these characteristics of these 'ugly' people, I just have to beware when I see one. And instead of letting them have a bite off me, I will tame them like dogs and when they disobey their owners. They shall see how unforgivable I can be..

And to God, I do not know I should say sorry or to thank You. Sorry would be I might change to become different than who I am slightly and thankful would be that You changed me to become better or worst. I believe in You and hoped You could guide me.



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