Thursday, October 20, 2011

I felt reborned..

It was a rainy day today. Booked my IPPT but I wasn't expecting rain though. I kept hesitating about whether to take the test..I even called up Mindef to check that if I were to skip it, will I be charged as AWOL but the operator on the line told me that it was alright. So I decided not to take it. That was 2pm in the afternoon while it was still raining heavily.

It was 4pm, the rain had stopped and I think I'm kinda fickle-minded..I asked my brother if I should go for my ippt. He gave me that look and added that it's my choice, I have to be decisive about it..('that look' was the look down on me facial expression..he thinks that I'm not capable of doing well for the test)

So, in the end, I still decided to take my test all because my brother also mentioned that if I waited the whole day just for the test and because of the rain, I decided not to go, then wouldn't that mean I wasted the whole of my day? Well,this statement from him really made me just change out straightaway from my room and headed right out the door for the test.

I'm out! The bus was slow, my test starts at 5pm, it was 4.15pm. It'll take me like an hour to get to camp. I was really nervous throughout the whole journey. I prayed to God that He'll give me the strength to do well for the test. For the past 2 years in NS, I've been achieving Gold for my IPPTs. So I wasn't really confident of myself then because the last IPPT I took was more than a year ago and I didn't train hard for it. I really felt so much of just giving up when I was already making my way there.. I kept thinking I am already late and I really not very sure if I can do well for it. Worst off, when I got off from the train to make a transfer for the bus, it started raining again... That even demoralized me..cause the weather condition is already bad + never train + wet ground then like that how to achieve good results...

Anyway, I thought to myself, it's just a small obstacle. There are many other obstacles in life that we have to overcome. If such small obstacle,I'm afraid of facing it, how can I be successful?! With that, I focus myself that even if the test were to be cancelled, it shall not be my wasted time..the most I can still use the gym. However, to my surprise when I got there..the 2.4km run have not started as it was CAT 1(for safety precaution of risks from wet weather). I was surprised to see NSmen taking IPPT on the same day as me! I thought they would have like given up knowing that it was raining..

I registered myself and quickly did all the static stations as fast as I could.. But one fearful station was the standing broad jump which was my weakest or the most tricky due to the electronic system. I did chin-up first as I know it was the easiest..but in BMT, that was the killer..I couldn't even do 1! I was a zero-fighter. But now, I cleared that easily. The 2nd station I took was shuttle run..cause it's just run-only-mah..very hard to fail meh..yep..did that with ease..3rd station was the sit-ups..well,I totally didn't train for it, turns out I had some difficulty but still managed to struggle for the points. As for the final static station which was the SBJ, I hesitated damn long before taking..I even spoke to the PTI (Physical Training Instructor) about the number of attempts for it..cause I do know we're only given 2 tries..and in the case I didn't get the result I wanted, at least I can keep trying..thank God he assured me I'm allowed to make multiple attempts..haha..but in the end, it only take me the 2nd attempt to get a good score for it. With the help of the PTI as he guide me when I told him the score that I wished to achieve.

Next up- the 2.4km run. This is the most nerve-wrecking station..it's like you do well for all your static stations but if you don't do well for this, no matter how well you did for the static stations, it's pointless..to me la..for others,they have different perspectives about it. In the end, I didn't care as I know that would be my final obstacle. And I had to overcome it..

Indeed, it was exhausting but I didn't expect that I actually still have the time to think to myself to ACTUALLY RELAX MYSELF DURING THE FINAL LAP!! LOL! I could have gotten faster by a few seconds if I didn't have that thought but anyway, the timing was reasonable for me.

I guess you've already known the result..I also don't have to reveal..unless you just scroll down to this part without reading what's earlier on. Haha..Alright, just before I end this entry. Here's something which I should mend it down to keep myself reminded at all times..

"Obstacles will always be obstacles if we fear to face it. It is only when we overcome it can we know ourselves better. "

I don't know if anyone said this before but I think this quote described alot about me..I'm actually very capable and confident but I do not have the balls to do it. In life, there are many other things that I was hesitant and a loser who gives up even before trying. Therefore, this quote came to me today and I shall live by it. To be fearless of anything but courageous to face it like a man. That's the reason why I felt reborned today.

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